Running Away
by RnbwXSprinkles
Summary: Sirius runs away from his family.
1. Family: Good and Bad

It was to be remembered as one of the worst days of my life. My dad and I were playing a game of Exploding Snap. Mum had been driven into the kitchen by the pressing need to clean up after dinner and to get away from the smoke (we had been playing for a while).

The past few weeks had gone by in a blur. I had returned from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry about two weeks ago and had since spent my time relaxing, and playing Exploding Snap, Wizards Chess, Gobstones, and Quidditch. I was always joined by my dad, but every once in a while, mum would enjoy these games also.

Unfortunately, as it had been raining that day, we were stuck inside. Even more unfortunately, we had recently realized that we also could not open the windows to vent out the smoke that was quickly building up. Mum especially was resentful.

Over the course of a few minutes, many things began to happen at once. Mum, upon exiting the kitchen (therefore acquiring a position behind dad), discovered the smoke, swallowed some, coughed and then began yelling. Dad, startled by mum's sudden blast of sound coming from right behind him, dropped a card, therefore receiving an explosion to the face, and making more smoke. Mum started yelling louder, angered by the fact that she got some of the blast.

Interrupting us all, though, was the most important event of all. A small thump was heard from the living room. We all hurried to see what the noise was. Upon entering the living room, we discovered it was someone knocking on the door.

Mum performed Alohamora, said a quick "Come in", and told me to go clear the smoke. I, however, resisted, which led to another small argument, during which we all started talking at once. In the midst of the argument, the door was flung open and a young teenaged boy collapsed in a soggy heap to the ground.

His jeans and shirt were ripped in places, and the small puddle gathering around him was tinged pink with blood as was the rain dripping off his crumpled body.

"Sirius!" I shouted, hurrying over to him.

* * *

I groaned as I opened my eyes. The first thing I saw was the big calendar hanging on my wall. Damn. It was Regulus' birthday. I would be expected to dress in ridiculously fancy dress- robes, be social, and treat Regulus like a king. It wouldn't sound so bad to anyone else. But they don't know what it's like to live as a "blood-traitor" within an extremely proud "pureblood" family. I hate them all.

I got out of bed, looking over at Regulus' bed. Of course, it was empty. Darling Regulus. I would probably be yelled at for getting up late. As was expected, I saw dress-robes on my bedside table. They were yellow. I refused to wear them. I, Sirius Black, wouldn't be caught dead wearing yellow. I picked them up and, repressing a deep desire to burn them, hid them under my bed.

I quickly dressed in jeans and a tee shirt. I would be yelled at for that, but I didn't care. I would not wear yellow robes. Besides, wearing yellow robes out on a muggle street in the middle of London would get me noticed. And I wasn't going outside to play in the back yard. I had to get out before all the sappy crap started taking place. All the compliments on wonderful Regulus as I was ignored or even insulted all the while.

I hated them all. They were all idiot, pureblood maniacs. Regulus hadn't been so bad before he was influenced by all the filthy Slytherins that he called "friends." He had once been nice. They all had, until I got into Gryffindor.

I had gotten out of the house successfully. Seeing as I had absolutely no idea where to go, I absent-mindedly started pacing up and down the street. I didn't realize how much time had passed until I heard a crack. Someone had Apparated. That meant the party had started. I shuddered at the thought of so many Blacks in one house. And then I left, with no intention of actually going somewhere. Little did I know that someone did see me, someone who shouldn't have.

I was quite happy about how I had managed to spend so much time so far doing nothing but feeling content. Settling on a swing, I watched people walk by, eventually joining the crowd, stopping by a small ice cream shop.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, I was being angrily and forcefully shaken awake. Startled, I sat up and met the glaring eyes of the owner of the ice cream shop, pointing at the door. Not wanting to grab any attention, I left in a hurry.

Crap, it was dark. I was in so much trouble. Not wanting to be any more late, I began running home. I stopped, filled with fear at the sound of someone Apparating right next to me. That someone grabbed my hair, pulling my head back and forcing me to gaze into cold, grey eyes. I gulped. It was my father.


	2. Sickening Entertainment

I went to run to Sirius, but mum got there first.

"Oh dear! What happened to you?" she asked, gingerly holding him, surveying and carefully avoiding the many cuts and bruises surrounding his body. Sirius' head fell back as mum held him in her arms. I couldn't help but quietly hiss. His eyes were closed, his body limp. That couldn't be good. What had happened to him?

"Mum," I said. "He's hurt. We should just leave him alone, let him sleep, and try to heal him as best as we can. Bombard him with questions later. Like when he's conscious." These words sounded calm, but my voice was anything but. I was panicked.

Easing Sirius out of my mother's hands, I carried him up to the bed in the guestroom. A sharp intake of breath was the only thing that showed that Sirius acknowledged the fact that he was being placed down on the many wounds occupying his back.

"Wounds," I though wryly. It made it sound like a war. And knowing Sirius, that was exactly what it was.

* * *

Any satisfaction I had felt today quickly disappeared. Father dragged me back home. Literally, still grasping my hair, he pulled me into a painful state of obedience. I dearly hoped the party was over. No doubt every one of my relatives would enjoy watching me be punished. I pulled my mind away from what I knew was coming and concentrated instead on making my face completely passive and unreadable.

Not a good idea.

"Don't you dare start that Bravery crap!" Father slapped me. I bit my lip trying to not cry out, fighting desperately to clear my head. "I know you think you're being dignified and noble. You're nothing. You're absolutely nothing, you hear?" He slapped my face again and tugged on my hair to keep me going. I nodded, gasping. I bit down even harder on my lip as the nod caused the pressure on my hair to increase.

"How dare you! Sneaking out of the house on your own brother's birthday! You're not even wearing your new robes. And hanging around all that Muggle trash! You didn't even bother going to Diagon Alley!" As if to put emphasis to his point, he tugged my hair, dragging my forward. I bit down a cry, tears streaming down my face.

We reached the house. I dreaded what I knew was coming. I looked up as we approached the house. Great. There were still people there. People in the front yard spilling into the backyard. People everywhere. Those who could were already stopping to leer at me. Smirking and laughing. I was nothing more than another form of entertainment to them.

Father pushed me roughly into the house. I cried out this time, I couldn't help it. Not only was I pitching forward, but my father had forgotten that he still had hold of my hair and had let go only just in time to keep it from ripping out of my head by the very roots as I fell. Just then, my mother came running in.

"Dear, don't hurt R-! Oh, it's you," she said stiffly. Of course, I wasn't going to be protected by her. Whereas if Father had been doing this to Regulus, Mother would've screamed and cried for him to stop.

My mind screamed as my mother roughly pulled me back to my feet. People were crowding inside looking forward to watch. This would do nothing to stop my mother. In fact, it probably made her feel proud that I was at least good for entertainment. She and Father would love to prove that I was worth less than dirt in front of all my relatives. She grabbed my arms and dragged me to the sink. So. It had begun.

* * *

I couldn't sleep. All I could do was imagine what had happened to Sirius. Sirius Black bowed down to no one. He was rarely seen helpless or humbled even in front of me, his best friend. But this, this was horrible. This was the worst I had ever seen him. And I've seen him hurt before.

The first time I ever realized the extent of Sirius' family problems was in third year. It was the day after Christmas vacation. Everyone was gathering in the Great Hall for breakfast. Sirius had come into the Great Hall limping and bleeding. Nonetheless, he held his head high and tried hard to appear as if it meant nothing to him. But it did, I could tell. I couldn't stand the knowledge; I knew then that he had spent the night before in the Hospital Wing.

Other times consisted of small mishaps during full moon. The wolf had apparently been in a very mad mood those nights. Remus /had/ admitted that it was possible for him to lose control even towards animals for that reason. However, I had never seen Sirius as bad as he was now. Never.

Creeping out of bed, I walked down the hall, trusting my feet to carry me to the guestroom. I opened the door as quietly as I could incase he had returned to consciousness and was now just sleeping naturally. His form was a curled-up lump beneath the blankets. It was still except for his breathing.

Walking over to him, I whispered, "Sirius?" He didn't move. Not even when I shook him (well besides the fact that I was shaking him). Pulling over the chair from the desk, I sat down next to the bed. I stared out the window, still wondering what had happened and hoping, praying, that he would wake. Looking back over at him, I couldn't help but stare. There were just so many cuts and welts and bruises. So much blood; some dried some still dropping from his body.

I looked away. I couldn't stand seeing him like this. I knew Sirius as a happy, hyper, funny, out-going person. It always pained me to see him withdrawn, quiet, and in pain. Knowing that his own family did this to him just made the knowledge more painful. I shuddered. His parents scared me and I'd never been closer than ten feet to them. I would make sure I was there for him to talk to when he woke up. If he wanted to talk.

I must've fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, I was on the floor and the sun was shining in through the windows. And Sirius was gone.

* * *

"Mum Please!" I couldn't help but beg. Her only answer was to dunk me into the sink again, grasping my hair, keeping my head down for as long as she saw fit. Finally it seemed to get old. But not until everyone had their turn. I was tempted to turn into my dog self and bite Regulus' head off when he took his turn.

When everyone was done, I was allowed to collapse to the floor, forgotten and slimy with soapsuds. I forced myself to swallow and breathe regularly as I fought down tears. I stiffened at the sounds of footsteps behind me.

"So, itty bitty Sirius. You thought you could get away. You thought we were done just because your parents were. Just because they think that the filth of Muggle London has been washed away, doesn't mean we agree." Behind my cousin, Bellatrix (who was speaking), stood a line of her friends from Slytherin. All of them were servants to the rising power, Voldemort. Including my own brother. I glared at him, ignoring everyone else, before turning once again to Bella.

"Considering the people you're with right now, one would think you would stay away from insulting those I go near." Bellatrix's face hardened.

"You'll pay for that Black."


	3. The Aftermath

I jumped up. He was gone! Where was he?

"Ok, James, calm down," I thought to myself. "He probably just went downstairs for breakfast." I ran down the stairs, not caring if I woke my parents up. I skidded around a corner, thankfully not running headlong into the wall. I ran down the hallway, stopping when I reached the kitchen.

I hadn't needed to worry about waking up my parents, they were already awake. In a sick, ironic way, I had been right. Sirius was in the kitchen, but he was most certainly not eating breakfast. Definitely not.

* * *

"Crucio!" Bellatrix shrieked. I fell to the floor slowly, writhing my way down. I was screaming. I knew and I didn't care. They were all seeing me at my weakest and I couldn't care less. All I could think about was the pain. It was unbelievable. It was pure, excruciating agony. Almost as soon as it started, it was over. I was released. But the pain didn't go away. I still lay there, twitching, cowering.

Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa's boyfriend, chuckled. "Sectumsempra!" He said, almost lazily. I gasped with pain as blood splattered my clothes and hands. I'd known that curse could be said in the mind (we stole Snivelly's notebooks once), but apparently it had a much worse effect if said aloud.

"Wait," a small voice said. I looked up, it was Regulus. My brother. Lucius Malfoy raised an eyebrow at Regulus, threatening him. Regulus backed away and said no more.

"Here, dear," Narcissa said, breaking the silence. She handed Malfoy something. Malfoy quickly hid whatever it was in his pocket. "Well, cousin," Narcissa continued, "Are you going to start staying away from your 'friends' or are we going to have to begin washing their slime and filth off you ourselves?"

I said nothing, but I shook my head. They obviously took my meaning. Narcissa dragged me up by my hair. Malfoy yelled, "Sectumsempra!" and at the same time Bellatrix cried, "Crucio!" My brother did nothing.

After a few more dunks, and more "Crucio"s and "Sectumsempra"s, I passed out. It was all darkness; pure bliss, no feeling, wonderful.

* * *

I stared in horror. Sirius was slumped over the kitchen table, he was pale. And I mean pale, not just his face, but his whole body was void of color. Except, of course, where he was bleeding. The charms my mother had performed over him had not worked. Blood had begun once again to pour freely form his veins. I didn't have to look at his face to know that he was unconscious.

A part of me was glad that I hadn't woken to see this, but another part of me had wished I had been there. I know there wouldn't have had been anything I could have done, but I feel strange, almost guilty, at not being awake at my friend's side. While he slipped slowly away from the real world, I had been peacefully (relatively speaking) dreaming.

My parents were standing on either side of him. They were looking at me, gazing at me as if probing for a reaction. I couldn't do anything. I stood there frozen, pretty sure my face showed nothing. Some of the relatively mild, unproven worry I had been feeling earlier, maybe. But nothing could show what I was feeling. This feeling of complete horror was impossible to display on any human face.

I swallowed down tears, "Mum, Dad," I said, my voice strangely even, "We have to bring him to St. Mungo's"

* * *

I woke up lying down in the middle of the kitchen. A puddle of soapy water had formed around me, soaking my back. I was alone and grateful for that. I looked at the clock, and my heart jumped; it was already ten o'clock. I could hear people beginning to leave. But not everyone was leaving.

I winced as I heard footsteps. I heard the door open, and recoiled, my head turned. I wasn't about to let whoever it was see the pain I knew was in my eyes.

"Dear God. Sirius!" A voice said. I looked up. It was my Uncle Alphard. He was one of the only people in my family who were kind to me. He had stayed in touch with my favorite cousin Andromeda who was disowned for marrying a muggle-born. And now, he helped me.

"Sirius, what has happened to you?" I explained all that had happened, wondering why he hadn't known, and then remembering he hadn't been there. Alphard's face hardened as I neared the end.

"Now listen here Sirius, and you listen good. Nothing would've come from you sticking up for your friends. You should've stood down, they might have been less hard on you if you did." This raised my temper again.

"But Uncle, they would've done the exact same thing if I hadn't said anything. They probably would've taunted me about not saying anything. I wasn't about to let them mess with me. I show my emotion and I'm proud of it. You know that!" My last sentence came out almost pleadingly. My voice and mind begged for him to understand, for at least one person in my family to understand me.

He looked at me for a moment. There was pity, almost disgust in his eyes. "I knew it!" I cried, "I knew you wouldn't understand! No one ever does! Look at me! This is what happens to me because I'm different!" As if for emphasis, I tripped in my own puddle. Not exactly dignifying, but it made my point. I straightened to a crouch, burying my face in my hands. Tears had sprung to my eyes by now.

"So run away," Uncle Alphard spoke gruffly, quietly. And with that, he stomped out of the kitchen, shutting the door. He was right. Sneaking up to my room, I packed clothes, enough to last and yet enough for Padfoot, my dog form, to be able to carry in his mouth with ease. I was out of the house before the adrenaline from my emotions died down, leaving me drained of energy. It had also started raining while I had been unconscious.

Gathering any energy I might have left, I trotted towards the Potter's until I half collapsed. My body was racked with pain, a sign that I was being forcefully changed back to human form as my body ran out of the energy and power it took to keep me in my dog form. Gasping from pain, I stumbled through Godric's Hollow. Finally, I collapsed through the door of James' house.

"Sirius!" I heard him cry, and then: Darkness.


	4. Painful Ending

I found myself staring at a ceiling. I was in so much pain. My arm slid off my stomach onto the mattress, finding blood. I winced. Biting back a cry of pain, I sat up. I made my way down stairs, ignoring the agony each step caused.

The last few steps were too much. I stumbled, crying out.

"Sirius!" I heard a voice cry. James' mother hurried over to me, catching me as a fell to my knees.

"Help," I said, not knowing anything else to say. Unable to think I continued, "They hurt me. Make them stop. I can't go back! Please! Don't make me!" I was sobbing now, but I didn't care. I just wanted it all to stop. I didn't care who stopped it, or who saw me breakdown. I didn't care who saw me cry.

The last thing I was aware of was Mrs. Potter holding me. The last time I'd been held like that was before I was old enough to make my opinions known. Before I began to hate my family. It had been so long since I had been held as if nothing mattered at the moment but me. I had only seconds to realize this. And then, I was out.

* * *

I waited in the waiting room for my parents to come out. They had brought Sirius to a healer. As far as I knew, they still didn't know what had caused the incessant bleeding. I was restless, I wanted desperately to pace, but I was too stiff from falling asleep in the chair.

I was so worried. Memories from Hogwarts and summer vacations kept going through my head. What if he didn't make it? He had to make it. He was only 16. Would his family really go so far as to kill him? I hoped not. Finally, my father came back out.

"James, Sirius'll be fine. They've been giving him a blood-replenishing potion and they've finally found out what's wrong with him. You can go in and see him now, he might even already be conscious. But just remember; he isn't in good shape. It seems to be a new curse, there's no known cure for it. But they're pretty sure that it'll heal in time if they just keep Sirius alive with the potion." Feeling worried, I followed my father into Sirius' room.

* * *

I woke up again lying down. I heard voices around me; they were fuzzy. My whole head was fuzzy, my brain sluggish and unable to comprehend my surrounding. I kept my eye closed, begging to slip away back to unconsciousness.

But I wouldn't get the peace I was longing for. I cried out, flinging my eyelids wide open as someone forced me into a sitting position. They poured a burning liquid down my throat. After thinking for a few moments, I realized it was a healer.

I felt horrible. Because of me, the Potters had to come to Saint Mungo's. I was causing pain in their lives; worry that they would be having if I hadn't been here. I was interrupting their daily lives. It was my fault that they felt worry. They didn't need this.

When my eye finally focused, James' mother came into view.

"Are you okay, Sirius?" She said, worry was etched onto her face. I expected worry, but not that much of it. I wondered why she was so worried. It never occurred to me that I might not want to know why.

"Mrs. Potter? What's wrong with me?"

"Sirius, it was a new curse. No one knows the cure. The healers have been giving you a blood-replenishing potion." She looked away. I couldn't believe it was that serious. Because it was a complex potion, with rare ingredients and it took forever to make, healers did not give it out unless it was absolutely necessary.

Just then, James and his father walked in the room. Nothing could've braced me for the look of horror on both their faces. If anything could've scared me, that was it. And it sure did scare me. Would I live past this?

* * *

Sirius looked horrible, by the look on Dad's face, I could tell Sirius looked worse than he did a few minutes ago when my dad last saw him. He was certainly paler than last time I saw him. He was conscious, but his eyes looked haunted and pained. His face was filled with agony and fear.

"Hey, Sirius!" I said, trying to keep my voice light. I could tell that not one person in the room fell for it, especially not Sirius. I needed to know what had happened though. I knew there was no chance of Sirius telling me in front of my parents.

"Mum, Dad? Can Sirius and me just talk alone for a while?"

"Sure." They walked out of the room, looking back every few seconds.

When we were alone I asked, "Sirius? Do you want to talk?"

* * *

I was grateful to James for asking his parents to leave. And even more grateful when his parents left. I knew James wanted to know what had happened. I also knew I wanted to tell him. I needed to tell someone. I took a deep breath.

"James," I began, "It started right before I went to Hogwarts. I started getting angry, and showing it, whenever my parents would say something bad about muggleborns. It got to the point where I would speak up even when they said the word "mudblood" even though I was used to the word as being a part of language. That's what my parents, and once I, had always called them, except when they explained that it meant muggleborn."

I stopped. I knew James wouldn't like the revelation that I had once uttered the filthy word as if it wasn't an insult. He said nothing, so I continued.

"It got worse when I got to Hogwarts. When my parents found out that I hadn't been placed in Slytherin, they were extremely disappointed. When they found out I was in Gryffindor, they were furious. That's when I started to grow afraid of going home. Fear always lurked behind the anger. It was always behind my hate of them.

"I sill had a love for my brother, however. My brother who still loved me, and looked up to me. I still protected him. Even with Regulus, my father believes in physical punishment: slapping, he even went to use a belt on Regulus once. I always stopped him. I protected him against the belt with my own back. Father was so angry at me interfering that he forgot completely about the fact that Regulus was still in my arms, and just kept going. My mum finally stopped him."

"But I thought she-" James began, but I cut him off.

"I don't know, but I'm pretty sure Mum still loved me then, even if she pretended she didn't. Ever since first year, whenever I went home, they would treat me different. Little things, really, but as they built up, it became a bigger problem.

"Father would be quicker to anger with me than with Regulus. Eventually, they started ignoring Regulus, who used to act a lot like me actually, and he started trying to be perfect in hopes he would regain his attention. He did and it was always mum who would point Regulus' perfections out. Together, Regulus, Mother, and Father drove me crazy. But they still didn't really hurt me in any lasting way besides the fact that everything built up inside of me, making each blow seem worse and worse.

"Then came third year. It was the day before the return to Hogwarts from Christmas vacation. Regulus was in his first year, and already influenced by many of his friends, most of them his cousins and other relatives. He kept annoying me; talking about our house, insulting all the muggleborns, insulting you, Moony, and Wormtail, everything that I can't stand. So I shoved him away from me. Unfortunately I pushed him a bit harder than I meant to, he stumbled back into the wall and, taken by surprise, fell to the floor. My parents heard.

"I'll tell you this now. When I get in trouble, Mother yells, and Father hits. That's the way they work. That day mother sure did yell. And god, James, did father hit." I was close to tears now, James looked away, but looked back again. I couldn't read the expression on his face, but I knew he wanted me to tell him. I hurried to continue before I backed out, not wanting to purvey to him all my pain.

"As you know, I returned to Hogwarts in pretty bad shape. It's never been that bad again. Until now." I couldn't help it, I stopped. James didn't need to hear this. He'd done enough already. He'd stood by me through all of this. But James, of course, wouldn't let my back out.

"What about this time Sirius? What happened?" Biting my lip, staring determinedly down at the sheets, I told him what happened. About how I had gotten out of the house and how my father had found me. About how when the rest of the family had finally left me alone, my brother, cousins, and their friends hadn't been willing to let it go.

About how my Uncle Alphard had told me what to do. And about how even though I didn't want to seem willing to give up the mini-war against my family, I had listened, retreating and fearing for my life.

When I looked back a James, he bit his lip. "Sirius," he said, then stopped, "I had no idea." He started crying and then I started crying. If anyone had walked in and seen us, I wouldn't have cared. All I was aware of was crying. Together, me and James cried away my pain.


End file.
